Marsha Jacobson - The wrong calamity
Resilience UnravelledMay 27, 202435:1356.43 MB

Marsha Jacobson - The wrong calamity

Keynotes

Resilience - Change - Coping Mechanisms - Shifting Perspective - Reframing Challenges - Narrative Building

 

In this episode of Resilience Unravelled Marsha Jacobson, an author, teacher, and writing coach from New York, shares her life story, and how she overcame her challenging childhood, abusive relationship, and personal struggles to build a successful career and a fulfilling life. She discusses her experiences with vulnerability, resilience, and personal complexity, how she felt unprepared for challenges and how she overcame them. She also discusses her resilience, her journey from teaching to consulting, and her experience in non-profit management and about her second husband's struggle with PTSD that ultimately led to their separation.

Main topics

  • The importance of embracing change and transitions as part of personal growth.
  • Adopting coping mechanisms such as "tiny experiments" and writing fake headlines to shift perspective.
  • Reframing challenges as learning opportunities.
  • "Narrative building" as a strategy for reframing challenges.


Action items

You can find out more about Marsha at  https://marshajacobsonauthor.com/about/

Her memoir, The Wrong Calamity, is her debut book.

[00:00:00] Hi everybody and welcome to Resilience Unravelled, a podcast that examines all aspects of personal

[00:00:13] and organisational resilience. A huge all-encompassing subject that covers the ability to thrive

[00:00:19] in life by harnessing your cognitive, emotional, physiological and contextual abilities. I share

[00:00:26] stories from people who have thrived despite remarkable obstacles, as well as highly successful

[00:00:31] practitioners and experts across a range of topics. This podcast introduces their amazing

[00:00:37] stories and expertise, as well as my own reflections, perspectives, strategies and

[00:00:42] tips which come from my own synthesis of themes and trends from wider learning.

[00:00:47] You can go to qedod.com forward slash extras to access offers, tools and resources

[00:00:53] including free articles and ebooks. For those of you that would be interested in supporting

[00:00:58] our work and contributing more proactively, you can find our new Patreon page at patreon.com

[00:01:05] then search for Resilience Unravelled. So let's get started. Enjoy the show.

[00:01:12] Hello and welcome back to Resilience Unravelled and with me today I'm delighted to welcome

[00:01:18] Marsha Jacobson and we just had a quick chat and I'm detecting from the accent, Marsha,

[00:01:23] you're from way over the west.

[00:01:27] Way over the west, yeah. I'm on the east coast of the west.

[00:01:33] Really whereabouts in the world?

[00:01:34] I'm in Manhattan, New York.

[00:01:36] Oh really? Oh my goodness, my favourite city. Fantastic.

[00:01:40] Mine too.

[00:01:41] You didn't mention that. I'm coming there next year on holiday. I'll pop in.

[00:01:47] I won't, don't worry. So how's life treating you over there at the moment? It's sort of

[00:01:53] the beginning of spring at the moment and it's sorrowful and wet and nasty. Tell me

[00:01:57] it's better over there.

[00:01:58] It's gorgeous.

[00:01:59] Is it really?

[00:02:01] I just came in from taking the most wonderful walk and didn't need a jacket.

[00:02:07] See, living the life.

[00:02:09] Living the life.

[00:02:10] Well look, thanks so much for joining me today. I'm looking forward to our conversation.

[00:02:15] Why don't you just tell us a little about yourself and what it is maybe that you get up to?

[00:02:22] Sure. Well, what I'm up to right now is I've written a memoir and I have retired from my

[00:02:32] teaching and put my consulting practice on hold and I teach management and I am at the moment

[00:02:40] engaged in all things that have to do with the book. The book is very much a part of my

[00:02:53] backstory. I mean, it's a memoir but it also has as a substantial theme the whole

[00:03:03] whole notion of resilience both in my private life and in my business life. So I can just

[00:03:13] say very quickly, I was raised by parents who taught me I was worthless. I did a lot of

[00:03:21] things that undermined myself and when I went to college, I think it was probably preordained

[00:03:30] that I fell under the spell of a guy who knew a pushover when he saw one. I thought he saw

[00:03:38] things in me that no one else had seen. I think what he saw in me was things that no one else

[00:03:44] had looked for and that had to do with vulnerabilities. I even agreed to move to Japan

[00:03:49] with him. Lived there five years, spoke the language fluently and unexpectedly, almost by

[00:03:57] accident, got quite a job at Mattel Toys Southeast Asia and succeeded. As I became more successful,

[00:04:07] he became more abusive and when we got back to the States, I actually escaped from him

[00:04:14] with our two young daughters. They were two and four at the time chased by police,

[00:04:20] literally in a cop chase. He stalked me for many years. This all was happening while I was managing

[00:04:30] my career. I got a Harvard MBA as a single parent when my kids were three and five

[00:04:38] and then I was a manager at Teradyne, a vice president at Shawmut Corporation which was

[00:04:46] later absorbed by Bank of America, vice president of operations at Fidelity.

[00:04:52] I switched to non-profits. I taught until very recently non-profit management at the graduate

[00:04:59] level and I started my consulting company. For the last almost 20 years, I've been consulting

[00:05:13] on, at this point, exclusively non-profit management. While that part was going on

[00:05:23] indirectly through getting my MBA, I met my second husband. By the time that happened,

[00:05:31] I did have my self-confidence. I had found my footing and we had a very glorious

[00:05:40] marriage for many years until something terrible in his past came to get us. He had serious PTSD

[00:05:52] that our marriage could not withstand. This was also, this was in the later stages of my career

[00:06:03] when I had very senior executive positions and for a variety of reasons. Also, you have to

[00:06:14] strategically manage your vulnerability in the workplace as well, your professional and personal

[00:06:21] vulnerability. I kept that private throughout my career. That's my story.

[00:06:27] Okay. Wow. Normally people give me two or three things to go. I've just looked at

[00:06:31] my pad and I have, as I'm showing you now, 18 things to go at. Let's unpack a couple of

[00:06:36] these things. Sure. Look, the first thing that springs to mind is you're obviously a person of

[00:06:42] massive resilience because you've survived quite a few amazing things and bounced forward and

[00:06:48] bounced back in various different places. I'm guessing you might be similar to many women

[00:06:54] who have this sort of abusive relationship and juggle this private, I was going to say demon,

[00:07:04] maybe there's the right word, but this private complexity with the outfit face of a career.

[00:07:11] Often I'm guessing when you were going through your career, you and I probably same sort of

[00:07:15] age, that's a tough world for women as well, especially women in senior executive positions.

[00:07:21] How did you manage that need for strength in both areas of your life?

[00:07:28] Well, I will say that along the way, it took me a long time to just overcome the gospel that

[00:07:41] I had been brought up with, which is that I wasn't a person who could handle things.

[00:07:47] I wasn't someone who could be choosy. It took me a long, long time and along the way,

[00:07:57] I sort of developed some, I don't know, I call them little nuggets, I mean almost tricks to

[00:08:03] myself of ways to do it. One thing that was not a trick and not a nugget, but I would say

[00:08:14] is very important in my personal life and even in my career where each job I had was something

[00:08:21] I hadn't done before, which is not atypical because we get promotions and whatnot.

[00:08:32] I started thinking of that terrible shattered aftermath of my divorce,

[00:08:39] not as where I was going to be stuck and my new normal, but as a transition. We all go through

[00:08:47] so many transitions. I talked to myself about transitions I'd made before. In my personal life,

[00:08:54] it was new schools, childless to parenthood, midwesterner to East Coaster to living in Japan,

[00:09:03] and that made me less afraid of the future and more aware of my steps forward and more

[00:09:09] philosophical about the inevitable steps backward. Another thing that I realized, not at the time,

[00:09:18] but in retrospect is that along the way, each time I took a step back, I was always

[00:09:33] that took a little courage. I was starting from a higher foundation because I had done a string of

[00:09:42] them and two of the things that I really relied on, these are my nuggets. One of them was doing

[00:09:53] things that I called tiny experiments. Another was something that I called my headline.

[00:10:03] I was writing fake headlines as a way of checking in on myself.

[00:10:10] We can talk more about that or I know you have 17 more questions.

[00:10:15] Tell us a bit about those two things because they're quite interesting. Go for it.

[00:10:20] The tiny experiments, in my private life, in my personal life, if I was feeling isolated

[00:10:32] and that definitely comes with trauma. I was so traumatized by my second divorce.

[00:10:43] I will say also suffering vicarious trauma because what had happened to my

[00:10:48] second husband, I now knew all those stories and I was suffering his trauma as well as mine

[00:10:54] because I loved him. If I was keeping myself isolated, I would force myself to arrange to

[00:11:03] have coffee or see a movie or something with a friend. If I felt dumpy or unlovable,

[00:11:12] I would put on clothes that I used to feel good in and wash my face.

[00:11:17] I talked to myself. I looked in the mirror and said, well, that's better.

[00:11:21] No, some of these experiments worked. Some of them didn't. If one of them worked,

[00:11:31] I celebrated the win. If one didn't, it actually was a win because I learned from it.

[00:11:39] Instead of allowing myself to continue with a story that said every time I do something bad,

[00:11:46] that's the real thing and every time it's something good, that's a fluke.

[00:11:51] I created a new narrative about myself that I truly came to believe which is, well,

[00:11:57] that's what experiments are for and now you're not ready for this one yet and we'll try it

[00:12:02] again in a little while. That was my tiny experiments. The fake approach to headlines,

[00:12:13] I don't know where this came from seriously, but at night before I went to bed, I would think back

[00:12:19] on my day, my personal day and then later also my work day. I would write these sometimes very

[00:12:30] funny headlines, old fashioned newspaper headlines like, woman goes to movie with friend

[00:12:38] and survives. Kid acts up, mom doesn't burst into tears. Exec speaks truth to power about

[00:12:49] hiring freeze, granted three more slots. If the headlines trended positive, again, I would

[00:13:00] celebrate them and if they started trending negative, I had this very goofy image. I don't

[00:13:10] know where it came from. It was when I felt I was one down, I would describe myself as being

[00:13:16] in the swamp and I think it came from a sign I saw in the middle of the swamp when I

[00:13:23] was in the Okefenokee swamps with my girls and I would just say, yep, you're in the swamp

[00:13:29] again, you've been here before, you'll get out again, you know how to get out of swamps

[00:13:33] and that's what worked. So it's really fascinating. So a couple of things to pick up on if I may.

[00:13:40] One of the things you said is I think very illuminating which is you talked about the

[00:13:47] inevitable stunt backwards and I think that's quite interesting isn't it because I think a lot

[00:13:52] of people have almost a toxic positivity that everything goes forward in life in this series

[00:13:59] of positive affirmations and I think you're absolutely right. I forget, you used to talk

[00:14:04] about this as much as things fail in the study learning and I think what you're doing is

[00:14:08] bringing learning into the heart of our journey as human beings and what you've shown is

[00:14:15] we start with one narrative and you build your own narrative and you learn your own

[00:14:19] examples don't you? And I love the idea of the experiments and particularly the headlines

[00:14:24] because you are literally narrative building and you're projecting that into the future

[00:14:28] and saying this is where I'm going to be and if I don't get there it's not because I'm a

[00:14:33] terrible human being, it's because I've got something to learn on the way. Maybe the headline

[00:14:36] was too ambitious or whatever it might be because there's no such thing as failure

[00:14:41] only feedback is at the heart of what you're saying in your journey. Now and forgive me,

[00:14:47] I'm maybe rambling on here but I wonder if you get that from sort of professional

[00:14:52] development working as an executive in organizations because often that sort of training

[00:14:57] comes into the sort of way that people are developed as leaders and I just wonder if

[00:15:01] that those thoughts came from there or they came from a different place? To be perfectly honest

[00:15:12] I'm not sure where it came from but I have a theory that is very prominent in my

[00:15:20] in the wrong calamity, my memoir. I think that we are all born with a certain amount of resilience

[00:15:29] in us but that it really needs to be nurtured and unfortunately I was born to parents who

[00:15:38] didn't see that as their role but I had two grandmothers who saw what was happening to me

[00:15:46] and they stepped in and basically nourished my you know this resilience that really need to be

[00:15:57] fed and watered you know before it could grow and they weren't the only two and

[00:16:04] to me that was everything and it makes all the difference of people who end up on

[00:16:10] floor footing and who end up not. It's a very interesting question you ask about whether I got

[00:16:18] it from leadership training. I think it was actually the other way around. I brought it

[00:16:23] to leadership training you know when I was I was breaking glass circles before you know glass

[00:16:33] ceilings before we had that phrase and not getting much mentorship or training but I

[00:16:42] explicitly used part of that to coach my own staff and help buoy them and help them grow

[00:16:51] and I think there's something about trying to bring along other people that you bring along

[00:16:56] yourself as well and I don't know that that may not be an answer that makes sense. I think

[00:17:01] it's the best I can do. No it's a good answer because actually what you say reinforces what

[00:17:06] a lot of people say which is in order to be able to lead anybody else you've got to stop

[00:17:10] the process of leading yourself. Now the other thing that just struck me is that a lot of

[00:17:14] people describe your story of being brought up and had a lot of negativity poorly parented

[00:17:20] whatever it might be and people think that they succeed despite that but there's also

[00:17:25] a theory in psychology that people succeed because of it because that because sometimes

[00:17:31] that ignites a sort of an energy which is I'll show you or I'm going to do this for me.

[00:17:40] So it creates a different sort of narrative doesn't it and it's interesting that you've

[00:17:45] found a man that was continuing to fire up that negative sort of perspective.

[00:17:52] So I always wonder and there's no research to back this up at all I'm just sort of playing with

[00:17:57] the concept. There's a sort of happy clappy sort of Betty Crocker sort of notion of childhood

[00:18:03] which gets you these amazingly well adjusted people very often they're not well adjusted

[00:18:09] and you have these people who are really poorly parented and they often are the people

[00:18:13] that have the most resilience and often are the people who have fantastic stories. If you

[00:18:19] look at the majority of some of the biggest entrepreneurs they were poorly parented so it's

[00:18:24] quite interesting whether and it comes down to your strength of character I'm guessing we're not

[00:18:30] going to talk much about character but I wonder if there was something in your character somewhere

[00:18:35] that fired you up and made you independent and maybe it was those grandparents or maybe

[00:18:40] you were able to sort of you know pull something from the ether or you were independent

[00:18:45] and minded enough who knows but it is interesting that in order to be resilient you have to you have

[00:18:50] I don't use the word suffer in that sense of emotional suffering but sometimes a really

[00:18:55] resilient you have to have the knockbacks to learn the resilience in the first place

[00:18:59] so I just wonder what you think about that. I love that question and I think I'm going

[00:19:06] to be thinking about it for weeks to come now that you've phrased it that way. What

[00:19:11] what I can say at this point about myself is I never in myself had that I'm going to show them

[00:19:21] or I'm gonna that was that was never anything that happened to me for me it was somehow a

[00:19:29] matter of always showing up for myself and sometimes as naively as not seeing another

[00:19:43] alternative you know so I don't I don't think that I can say that that that is is what moved me on

[00:19:55] in retrospect although I certainly never you know thought of the term

[00:20:03] you know small experiments I think there were times when I was just pushed more because I

[00:20:11] I simply felt I had to you know to take a little risk like to like the first time I said no to that

[00:20:17] abusive husband you know and the trees stayed rooted in the ground you know and it's only

[00:20:24] in retrospect that I realize and of course writing the book helped me get my story straight

[00:20:30] you know by just putting it all down along the way there were these points where I took

[00:20:35] little risks and they worked and gradually like I said each one was starting from a

[00:20:42] you know a foothold of more confidence and more ability to to sort of regroup if they didn't go

[00:20:51] well. So before we just jump into the memoir just one last question if I may I just wonder

[00:20:56] what effect the Japanese scenario had I mean it's remarkable if you were speaking fluent

[00:21:02] Japanese in five years that's an incredible achievement in a sense but I'm guessing I mean

[00:21:06] going there gives that breadth of perspective you know that whole different world and it opens up

[00:21:13] a different side of our brain I always think so I just wondered whether you attribute any of your

[00:21:19] resilience to that Japanese I want to call it an adventure because it sounds like an adventure

[00:21:23] but probably just hard hard worked at the time but well you've put your finger on something

[00:21:28] that a lot of people don't because a lot of people think the Harvard Business School situation was

[00:21:33] you know sort of where everything opened up for me I went to Japan as one person and I came back

[00:21:40] a different person both from being enlarged in the way that travel enlarges us and understanding

[00:21:49] that everything that I had thought was the only way to do things I mean even as simple

[00:21:53] as how to carry a baby or you know how to wrap a present I mean even basic things like that what

[00:22:00] bathing is you know that they were not only the only way to do things but in some cases

[00:22:06] everything I had learned wasn't even the best way and also that incredible accident

[00:22:16] I just this chance meeting with the CEO of Mattel Toys Southeast Asia and getting that job

[00:22:24] and discovering I had talents that opened a window into myself that I don't know what else

[00:22:32] would have done that um yes I mean we I can't speculate what else would have happened hopefully

[00:22:41] something but that was amazing did you meet him at a bus stop or at a party or something

[00:22:46] or how did you meet I'm sorry oh oh how did I meet him no not at a bus stop wouldn't that

[00:22:52] have been fun no I met him because I was a singer and I had joined a Japanese chorus

[00:22:58] and um I was taking private lessons with the choral director and I sang in a concert that

[00:23:05] he was putting together and I needed to find a really good accompanist and I found this

[00:23:10] woman living in Japan who had graduated from the conservatory at McGill a great school of music

[00:23:18] she was my accompanist uh Saul Mester the head of Mattel Toys Southeast Asia was her husband

[00:23:26] she and I had become quite good friends and I met him at a party that she and her husband

[00:23:32] through and we ended up in a corner for half an hour talking and um I was asking a bunch of

[00:23:40] questions about his work because I didn't know very much about business and nine months later

[00:23:47] he called and wanted me to come and sort of help solve kind of a big problem he had which

[00:23:53] was that his Japanese and American directors wouldn't go in the same room with each other

[00:23:59] and when I argued that I didn't know how to do anything I actually said I don't know how to

[00:24:03] do anything worth the money you're offering um he convinced me to do it and um and I succeeded

[00:24:13] and then that led to more consulting engagements from the companies that his um directors most of

[00:24:20] them headed up other companies and that's that's how it all happened I'm not a fan of look

[00:24:27] and um I would listen to that whole story and see it so that I was think that people in that

[00:24:32] job in that sort of job look and find talent all over the place and um and they're always on

[00:24:39] always looking for talent and then they just met you and your wife sorry that person's wife

[00:24:44] would probably have said something which is why you had half an hour to talk in the corner

[00:24:48] so um I always think putting the things down to look removes our agency over them and it's

[00:24:53] often the thing that we put down to look is the significant successes we don't own those successes

[00:24:58] and really celebrate them but um no and I'm fascinated about the Japanese thing because

[00:25:02] I do think travel is so amazing well look what what what why why a memoir was this just

[00:25:09] something that you've seen everybody else do or you want to get the story out there or

[00:25:13] you know what was the motivation for it I started out not wanting to write a memoir um

[00:25:19] I was writing a personal essay about something in my life and pretty soon I had a whole sheaf of them

[00:25:26] and with great uh and I ended up being accepted into a very small um workshop like a master class

[00:25:35] um led by Joyce Johnson who was a very you know considerably older than us but uh you know

[00:25:44] well well regarded much awarded um author and editor and she's the one who convinced me that

[00:25:54] these essays I had written wanted to be a memoir um I would I always say she lovingly bullied me

[00:26:02] and uh I finally said fine to keep her quiet and once I started I never looked back um a

[00:26:11] lot of people not Joyce but a lot of people told me not to bother because no publisher would want

[00:26:17] a non-celebrity memoir uh particularly from a debut author who had no following and four

[00:26:24] publishers wanted it and it came out six months ago and Publishers Weekly named it an editor's

[00:26:31] choice and uh people are contacting me through my website to tell me the profound effect it

[00:26:38] has on them I'm doing a lot of interviews uh and uh to people are asking me to explain what

[00:26:46] I learned in my own experiences to benefit other people uh people like yourself are inviting

[00:26:53] me to do that um for which I'm very grateful and unbelievably moved.

[00:27:00] So uh interesting isn't it the word memoir is also it must be quite liberating calling a

[00:27:07] memoir I always think um autobiographies sound so much more strict in a way whereas a man a memoir

[00:27:14] can be quite a creative wonder through through a life and then with lessons to draw where it

[00:27:20] comes from who did you write it for did you have someone in mind or was this more personal

[00:27:24] journey of saying this is me and if anybody wants to engage with it they can? No as I

[00:27:29] started writing and got more into it a very dramatic um something very dramatic to me

[00:27:34] happened I was doing a reading of the I was still developing the book but it was quite far

[00:27:41] along and I did a reading of an excerpt public reading and a woman came up to me afterward and

[00:27:48] said all the details were different but you were telling my story and now I believe I will

[00:27:54] be okay and at that point you know I had had some vague thought I wanted to be inspirational

[00:28:01] to people you know and um but I hadn't really thought that through of what it meant and then

[00:28:06] I realized I really had an obligation to be even more forthcoming than I had been and

[00:28:14] I hadn't been clear about how long it can take I hadn't been clear about some of the

[00:28:19] blunders I made along the way and you know I certainly didn't want people to think I was a

[00:28:24] superhero so in the end it was a population of readers who would like a good yarn because

[00:28:34] this takes place in the Amazon jungle and South Africa and Vietnam and certainly Japan um but

[00:28:41] also um who also had the lived experience and perhaps currently the lived experience

[00:28:50] of recovering from trauma and I wanted to reflect their lived experience primarily because so many

[00:28:58] people just you know six weeks after for example my second divorce were saying you should be over

[00:29:04] it by now and they need to know just disregard comments like that so and I guess there's a

[00:29:14] there's a I don't get this sense from you at all because you um it's interesting at watching

[00:29:19] you as you're a person full of life and vigor and such like but um but this is quite a dark

[00:29:24] potentially a very dark subject a very down subject a very um troubling subject so how did

[00:29:30] you how did you balance you with all this vigor and the subject of your memoir how did

[00:29:36] you manage that contrast yeah that was a that that was a real challenge in the in the

[00:29:45] writing and I will say that I I discarded two versions and then the third was the term

[00:29:59] I realized that the only way that I could write this was to stick to the straight and narrow of

[00:30:05] telling my own story there is no place in that book where I say he wanted to hurt me and

[00:30:12] so you know I don't know what was in anybody else's mind I just talk about it from my own

[00:30:17] point of view and my own point of view my own lived experience of it was an upward trajectory

[00:30:26] into discovering that it was not necessary well and discarding really what I had been taught to

[00:30:36] believe about myself and discovering my strengths and even though it took time and had setbacks

[00:30:43] it was a constant you know positive trajectory and um and I think that came through in the

[00:30:54] writing as I said because uh you know I kept doing more and more things that ultimately

[00:31:00] formed that whole picture yes and what's interesting is I mean you've got some

[00:31:04] fantastic reviews on the sites that you're on which is great thank you but but one of the

[00:31:09] ones that really caught my eye was stubbornness is a virtue or stubbornness as a virtue and I

[00:31:16] and it goes back to my original question about you know thriving from difficult beginnings

[00:31:21] and I do detect like an edge of steel in you and or at the heart of you at the root

[00:31:27] of you maybe and um you know that that seems quite interesting and I wonder if that review

[00:31:32] picks it up it's quite a nice thing to be said um it's lovely isn't it yeah um

[00:31:41] yeah I love that review there was another one who said this is a testament to a real badass

[00:31:47] I liked that one and then there was another one that from a young woman that I presume that said

[00:31:56] uh we we start out with the with the protagonist as a with with the deck stack against her or

[00:32:03] something like that and at the end you know from a position of strength we learn her wisdom this

[00:32:09] makes me look forward to getting older and I I love that one yeah that's good and what's

[00:32:15] interesting is how often the phrase you know it's a page turner it's an interesting story

[00:32:20] you know that comes out because again it's it's it sounds like it's not a you're not preaching

[00:32:26] it's that you just the lessons are learned by people who read the book I guess look I'm not

[00:32:31] preaching and I threw in a fair amount of humor along the way to when a little bit of uh you

[00:32:37] know comic relief was needed yeah so that's excellent well look you better tell us what

[00:32:42] the name is how you find it the name of your website you know all that all the stuff that we

[00:32:48] that you need to say otherwise your publisher will be really cross I think so um the name of

[00:32:54] the book is The Wrong Calamity and um I'm Marcia Jacobson so I'm the author and my website

[00:33:04] is Marcia Jacobson author.com good very good I'm just checking when you were saying that

[00:33:15] um because you Americans have this habit of spelling things in peculiar ways I'm just checking

[00:33:21] the spelling in that no it's all fine um yeah Marcia no thank you Marcia is M-A-R-S-H-A

[00:33:29] and Jacobson at the end is S-O-N so that's a good point no that's okay yeah all the links

[00:33:35] will be in the thing well look it's I mean I'm just sort of conscious of time I don't want

[00:33:38] to be sure any more time out of you it's been absolutely fascinating um thank you so much

[00:33:44] you know please rush out and buy this book it seems absolutely fascinating I've just popped

[00:33:49] it into my Kindle folder so I'm looking forward to reading out on my holiday soon

[00:33:54] and thank you for spending some time with us today Marcia it's been an absolute

[00:33:58] delight and I really do appreciate everything we said today it's been fascinating. Oh thank

[00:34:03] you so much for inviting me and enjoy your vacation. I shall you take care. You too thank

[00:34:09] you. Hi everybody I hope you found that episode useful and interesting feedback is always

[00:34:19] welcomed and if you're in the mood to subscribe to us or even leave a comment on iTunes or

[00:34:23] Stitcher that would be amazing. If you want to suggest ideas or even people you would like

[00:34:28] me to interview then reach out to us at qedod.com forward slash contact as I said earlier

[00:34:35] you can go to qedod.com forward slash podcasts for show notes or follow the links

[00:34:41] and you can go to qedod.com forward slash extras to access offers tools and resources

[00:34:48] including free articles and ebooks for those of you that would be interested in supporting

[00:34:53] our work and contributing more proactively you can find our new Patreon page at patreon.com

[00:34:59] then search for resilience unraveled I look forward to being in your ear next time around

[00:35:04] take care